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Below you will find a “free song.” This is an idea that I got from the website of my dear friend Andy Gullahorn. I’ll try to post a new song here every couple of months. They will always be “demo” quality, which means that the production and sound will be minimal. The idea here is to let you in on certain aspects of my artistic (and spiritual) journey.

The Non-Religious Me (mp3)

(MAKE SURE YOU HIT PAUSE ON THE SONG PLAYER
BELOW WHEN LISTENING TO THE MP3)

In December of 2005, my friend Kevin Smith asked me and the band to come out to his church in Lafayette and do a couple of Christmas concerts. Kevin (on electric guitar) joined Andy (drums), Nathan (bass) and me (acoustic) for lots of seasonal stuff, and a few of my own songs. This is one of the latter group. It’s an new song that I’m thinking about putting on my next singer-songwriter project. It’s pretty long, but I like it. I hope you will too. Technically speaking, this is a live recording, so it’s got a few warts. Rick Naqvi of PreSonus was there engineering, and he did a great job, but bands are rarely perfect, and we weren’t that night. Artistically speaking, this was inspired by conversations that I’ve had with scores of people who seem to be struggling with lifeless religion and Christian busy-ness. It occurred to me that these people are quite often condemned by other believers, made to feel silly and sinful and ashamed. It also occurred to me that, perhaps, these difficult times of struggle might bring us even closer to the Man who struggled to the point of sweating blood. We all feel low and misunderstood at times (even in the midst of religious activity), and those might be the times when we come closest to understanding the suffering and character of Jesus. We must remember this: just because someone is frustrated with American Christianity, it doesn’t mean that they are frustrated with the Lord Christ. Just because someone is bored with my church, it doesn’t mean they have no interest in The Church. Anyway, give it a listen…
(Non-Religious Me link)

The Non-Religious Me
Words and music by ross king
© 2005 ross king

I couldn’t find You in the sermons
I couldn’t find You in the songs
I couldn’t find You Sunday morning
And that’s when I knew something had gone wrong
I couldn’t see You in the reading
I couldn’t hear You in my prayers
I couldn’t feel You in my feelings
And I began to fear that You weren’t there

Then I thought I heard a sound
Somewhere in me
You said to stoop way down
And that’s where You’d be

I never thought I’d find You here
Way down in my shame and fear
I never thought that You’d draw near to this
My faithlessness
I never thought to look for You
In this ditch that I’ve been crawling thru
I never thought You’d listen to the plea
Of the non-religious me

They told me they’d be praying for me
And then they showed me to the door
They made it clear that they’d ignore me
Until I wasn’t struggling anymore
That’s when I started feeling guilty
This must’ve been my fault somehow
If only I’d been stronger, maybe
I would not be in this mess right now

Then I saw a nail-scarred hand
Bleeding on me
You said, “I understand”
And You showed me mercy

I never thought I’d find You here
Way down in my shame and fear
I never thought that You’d draw near to this
My faithlessness
I never thought to look for You
In this valley I’ve been crawling thru
I never thought You’d listen to the plea
Of the non-religious me

If we have no room for strugglers
Where are they to go for answers?
Didn’t Jesus ask His Father for another way?
And what does that say
About the way we handle
People when they’re faith is fragile?
Even Jesus slipped and stumbled when He
Carried the cross
Now the curse of the law is gone
And in it’s place: amazing grace

Blessed are the poor in spirit
The Kingdom will belong to them
Your love is strong but still they fear that
You would never let them in
God, I am a true believer
Help me overcome my unbelief
I stepped out on the raging water
And now I’m sinking in the sea

I never thought you’d find me here
Drowning in my shame and fear
I never thought that You’d draw near to this
My faithlessness
I never thought to look for You
In this valley I’ve been crawling thru
I never thought You’d listen to the plea
Of the non-religious me

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